Kind of Earthy

Lately I feel bountiful. Usually I'm not very curvy (except my especially large ass) and lately I've kind of been digging the pregnant lady curves. I have boobs for the first time in my life. That's pretty awesome.

Plus mother Earth can be a total bitch and we still love her so it's cool.

If I sound a little out of it now it's because I am. Sleep is becoming quite the chore. Tonight I'm going to try sleeping sitting up and see if that helps because I can no longer lay on my side. The back pain in the night is horrid.

I've been having real, honest to goodness contractions. They never stick around and don't intensify so the Doc isn't worried but I'm souped! If I can make it until Friday without going into active labor then she won't stop labor if it decides to start after that point.

Speaking of my Doc reminds me that I have a confession. I kind of hate her. She is always matchy-matchy with nice outfits, perfect hair and flawless make up. I really dislike sitting there with my ACUs on that don't come close to looking the same color, pants unbuttoned because I refuse to get maternity ACUs and being confronted with her fashion sense. Grrr. Just wait until I'm covered in sweat, blood and all other bodily fluids trying to expel this watermelon and she has the absolute gall to show up all put together.

I have yet to finish my single paper that is due for my stupid class. It's due next week and I can't get into writing it. Dammit. Also, I missed class yesterday because the ass of my jeans ripped as I was leaving the parking lot to go into the classroom. I'm not going to get into my feelings on that because, well it was just a dark time.

Sunday is a work day

I had to cover a general officer promotion today. It was me and one other person in ACUs. I can't fit into my Class As right now. I look at myself naked in the mirror and I feel like I look like a ghostly version of a starving Ethiopian. My belly is all distended. You get used to looking one way and then it changes so fast. Hope everything goes back to it's relative location.

I have 4 weeks and 5 days until my due date. That's 33 days if you would like it further broken down. I can't wait until I'm on maternity leave. People keep talking about how busy I'll be but I'm not sure I buy it. I'm pretty freaking busy right now with school and work. When I go on leave I won't be working and I'll be on a break from school. The only thing I will have to worry about will be taking care of the baby.

Now when I go back to work and school. That will be a challenge for sure! Lets not borrow trouble though.

I had a second baby shower yesterday. It was really nice and fun. I'm still missing some of what I would term essentials but there isn't too much left to get. I started packing my hospital bag today too. I'm kind of a control freak and would be really pissed if this baby came and I didn't have my pajamas packed. I don't really like hospital johnnies.

I started putting entries in the baby book last night and today Erik added some entries of his own. I think it's something that Rhea will really appreciate when she grows up. That her father cared enough to make some notations on how he felt about us having her. My father never cared enough so I might be projecting just a little. Oh well. :)

Day two of a five day weekend

I have a five day weekend so I'll probably be posting more frequently for the next few days.

Today we hung the bathroom mirror and one blind in our new bathroom. Erik got so frustrated with the screw driver that we had to stop without hanging the other blind. It's getting there though. Slow but steady I guess.

Rhea has been quite busy today but not to the point where I can't do anything else. I have been doing a lot of laundry, vacuuming and organizing. I don't like having a messy house but unfortunately household chores don't rate very high on my favorite things to do list. All I can think is I have about a month before D Day and I want things done!

I have been wondering alot about what type of daughter I'm going to have. What type of person will she be? How will she interact with people? Will she value them for every little thing they bring into her life or will she see them as tools? How much of her will I have a hand in developing? How much will she be born with and carry with her through out her life?

My dog, Fergus, has been farting all day and it is so bad that it actually made gag.

I'm still frustrated by the restrictions that being pregnant but it's not as bad today. I honestly have never wanted to go for a run so much in my life.

Oh my god....

So I like to think I'm handling this pregnancy pretty well for someone who really never planned on reproducing. These last few weeks have made me thank any deity I can think of for such smooth sailing so far.

Things I'm whiny about lately:

1. I'm tired, I can't sleep

2. My little girl seems to think if she just pushes on my uterus enough that there will be more room (trust me there won't be any)

3. Heartburn is my constant companion

4. I can't roll over in bed without stabbing pain

5. I have to pee every 5 minutes (literally)

6. I CAN NOT TIE MY OWN SHOES!

All I can think is that some women will spend their entire pregnancies in bed OR with chronic pain OR vomiting the whole time OR some crappy combination of symptoms I can't even imagine.

Now I will be honest,because well I don't feel dishonesty will get me anywhere. I'm feeling a little resentful of this alien invader today. I'm not one of those women who feels an instant connection with their baby and I'm sick of people telling me I don't look excited when I talk about the baby. Believe me I will be, when she is here. Until then I'm going to wonder about all sorts of things that will prevent me from getting super excited about her.

My mom told me she didn't think I would make it to 40 weeks and would probably go around 38 weeks. This made me almost cry tears of gratitude but, was swiftly followed by crushing guilt. What type of woman would feel that way?

This woman.

Now let me wrap this up by saying this:

Today was a tough day. I probably won't feel this way tomorrow but I would be lying if I said I'll feel completely different tomorrow.

So I'm 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Its pretty much amazing and confusing. My body feels like it's weighed down by an extra 100 pounds (even though I only gained 30ish). Uck. Rhea is moving a lot today and while it's interesting, it's not exactly comfy feeling. I had a mini breakdown yesterday but today seems to be going better.

Annnddd I'm back. So much has been going on, especially the pending arrival of our B-A-B-Y. Yep that's right, yours truly is about to become a mother. This is totally exciting, terrifying and really overwhelming. (the little wench is kicking the crap out of me right now.) Erik is away but he will be home this weekend and then I won't have to rattle around my house, all lonely.

So it's been awile since I posted... So much has happened and I can honestly say I feel like talking about any of it.