Sometimes I hate the fact that Humans cant be like normal animals. You know with few thoughts to where they belong in the world, what happens when they die. Things of that nature.
Sometimes thinking about death paralyzes me with fear. I struggle daily with trying to understand what will happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't fear my own death not really. What wakes me up in the middle of the night gasping for breath is not understanding what happens when we go.
Its not that I don't believe in heaven or if I do. Its the lacking of understanding. The overwhelming sense of "oh what is going to happen to me, what will nothing feel like?"
I just want to shake these things off and live a full life but I can't live a day without it imposing itself on me.
