Snow.

I'm ok with it snowing on March 31. April 1, however, it better not snow. I want it to warm up. I want to take my baby outside for a walk!

My mom always spent a ton of time with us outside and I want to do the same for Rhea. I can't force her to like the outdoors but I sure can try!

Erik and I have decided we will be getting rid of cable this summer. In an effort to save us some money and get our buts outside. I'm interested in seeing how this works.

I hope this is a decent summer.

I need an A

Problem: I need an A in my Econ course to get into my college's education program. My only grade in this class is a 74. I only get one more test and a quiz. I'm pretty sure this is impossible. It's only slightly my fault that I got a 74. The rest is the fault of a certain VW Jetta that decided that right before my exam was a great time to shatter it's fly wheel. That was a fun night. Erik had to come and pick me up, with crying baby in tow. The standard transmission gave out on the only hill between me and my test. I managed (with help) to get it off the street into a reserved parking spot. Then I had to rush the test. I completed the 50 questions in under 10 minutes. Then I had to rush out and help Erik get the car towed to Coventry. We didn't kill each other in the process though. I am still proud of that fact.

When I was young I used to rub my feet together just for the sensation. As we lay in bed I feel Rhea's little feet pushing into my thigh and I wonder if she is doing it because it's a new feeling she likes.
Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed by the little things she let's me experience anew. With all the horrible in the world I can appreciate her beauty.

This is uncomfortable

I choose to breastfeed my daughter. Not as much thought went into making the decision as some may think. It’s the first way any animal feeds their offspring, it’s easy and it is cheap. That’s pretty much it.

What I didn’t expect was how much other people feel they have a right to infringe their opinions upon my choice. How people feel they can comment on how they think breastfeeding is gross. Now many moms might tell me to ignore these people but I have a hard time doing that. This is all brand new to me and sometimes I feel a little lost and confused.

I’m not an exhibitionist. I don’t enjoy flashing my boobs around in public but I need to feed my baby. I also don’t want to be shut off from society in some small room because breastfeeding makes people uncomfortable. Why is it so hard to accept someone else’s choice and leave them alone?

If someone chooses to bottle fed I don’t get all upset. That is their choice made for their own private reasons. I couldn’t judge someone because they are doing something different from what I’m doing.

I’m extra sensitive to this because this is my first week back at work and I’m pumping to feed Rhea. The way my office is set up I have no place to pump in private (except for an office that has windows and walls that don’t go all the way to the ceiling). I am not particularly upset about this but I know there are people I work with who will be. Not like it is any of their business but I guess that doesn’t matter. I also have to walk past a bunch of guys who look at me like; ewwww gross, when I go to clean my equipment.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I didn’t expect the mild revulsion that some people show towards a natural act. That is still throwing me for a loop.

Still, if I ever have another child I will still choose to breastfeed. It’s a lot of work and at times painful but I really do love the closeness it brings to the mother-child relationship. Plus, its WAAAYYYY cheaper than formula. ;-)

I totally forgot to write my entry that I spent all day thinking about. Poop.