Today is much better than yesterday. I'm still frustrated by the impending arrival of my daughter (still sounds weird to say) but, I'm less desperate and more relaxed.
The deal is that life is unpredictable. I've learned this lesson time and time again but occasionally one can forget when so caught up in living life. This is one of those reminders that the universe tosses my way sometimes. I can appreciate the lesson and take it to heart.
I won't have much longer to feel her move inside me. Soon she will truly be an individual and I'll never get this time back. It makes me wonder about things.
I can find my own mother in a room of a hundred people wearing a blindfold with both hands tied behind my back. It's her scent. It's not a soap, lotion or perfume because she changes those pretty frequently. It the smell that is uniquely her. To this day nothing calms me faster than breathing in that smell. Will Rhea be the same way with me? Will she feel the same sense of relief I got as a child when my mom would come to check on me before going to bed?
I hope so. If there is anything one thing my mother gave me that I would want to pass on to my daughter it would be that sense of love so strong that it makes everything alright in the world.
There are more things I wonder about but I think I'll stop there for tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment