I started off this morning crying, sobbing actually, because I am still pregnant. I have been having unproductive contractions since 36 weeks and I’m now 38 weeks and 5 days. I like to think if it just wasn’t for the stupid contractions that I wouldn’t be having such an issue but I don’t know for sure if that’s true.Poor Erik, I don’t think he was aware that having a baby meant living with an inconsolable mess, shambling from one room to the next, moaning like something from the Living Dead for weeks without end.
I’m making light of it now but, this morning was bad. Really, really bad. I literally was sitting on my couch at five this morning, rocking back and forth, in the dark. I can’t begin to explain the overwhelming and varied emotions that have taken over my body and mind. I can’t control it or prevent it. The best I can do is try to control it and keep myself calm. I struggle with transitioning from one thing to another so I’m sure you can imagine how difficult it is for me to keep my sanity when I’ve been in the beginning stages of labor for over TWO WEEKS.
I’m excited for the birth of my daughter and can’t wait to meet this tiny person who is a combination of me and Erik. I want to see if she is going to be born with spiky, black hair like me or soft, bleached blonde hair like Erik. I can’t wait to count her fingers and toes and marvel over her poopy diapers. All of this makes me all the more frustrated when another contraction hits and I’m sitting there going, “could this be it?”
So if you are listening Rhea, Momma loves you and can’t wait to see you in person.
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