Thinking:
I am completely amazed that my bladder has remembered how to retain more than .25 ounces of pee. I don't have to pee every 5 seconds anymore!!!

This is me...

I am not an artist by any means but I had nothing to blog about today so I drew me instead. Hope you like it.

Rhea managed to projectile vomit up my nose yesterday. I was sitting in bed, feeding her and talking to Erik, when all of a sudden. Blaph!!!

right handed interneting

I slept a ton today and last night. I mean a shit load of sleep (measured using newborn-baby-in-the-house standards) so like five hours.

It honestly isn't horribly bad. I think I remember being more sleep deprived in basic training but then I got to sleep in somewhat solid chunks of sleep. And there was always that one blessed night a week when I didn't have fire guard duty.

I have had a couple of crying jags where I beg Rhea to just go to sleep but I think my count for those is around two. This is working fine right now. I'm already worrying about events in the future though. I have a long, long test series I have to take on January 15 and I have no clue how I will survive it without my boobs exploding on my chest.

Don't get me wrong, I actually like breast feeding but I can't go much longer than 2.5 hours without becoming painfully full.

Ok I have to burp Rhea now so I'll get back to this later.

Thinking: how do I teach a one week old that nighttime = sleep time.

You're all awesome

and so am I.

I feel great today. Rhea woke up twice to eat during a six hour stretch so I've gotten a ton of sleep compared to the past few days. AND I PUT ON PRE PREGNANCY JEANS TODAY!!!

So what if they used to be my fat jeans and now just barely fit over my thighs? Eventually I'll get to where I feel comfortable in my own clothes again. I'll be super happy to burn my freaking spandex jeans. A giant bonfire of celebration.

My boobs have morphed into two rock which just sit on my chest. I'm still getting into the swing of how to use these puppies so engorgement is a bit of an issue. Rhea has been most helpful with keeping them empty. I have yet to put cabbage in my bra but I wouldn't hesitate if I thought I needed it.

So yeah, I feel pretty damn good and hope that it continues for a little bit. Good luck to everyone and have a Merry Christmas (and Happy Holidays).

And now the rest of our lives

December 17th, 2010 at 10:00 a.m. was the start of the rest of our lives. Rhea was born and now is already three days old. I'm not sure how much of my life is going to be altered but I have a sneaking suspicion that nothing will ever be the same.

Now for the birth story:

On Thursday evening I started have some stupid contractions that I figured weren't going to get any worse so I went to sleep. At around 1 a.m. I woke up to some stronger contraction-cramps that were about 3 minutes apart. Erik called the hospital and asked what they thought we should do. They told us to come in anyway because when your 40 weeks along it's better to come in.

We got to the hospital at around 4ish and they put us in a room. I wasn't convinced at this point that we were going to have the baby but the contractions kept coming and my back was killing me. At about 7 in the morning the nurse managed to get the Doctor (not mine but one of her partners) to sign off on my epidural. The epidural process was so easy and quick. The most painful part of the whole process was the Dr rubbing my back with his knuckle to find the right spot. (I have to include that next part but I want to emphasize that Erik was awesome during the whole process.)

While I was getting set up for the epidural the Dr. said, "OK now don't move for this next part." and as soon as he said it Erik kicked the table as he got up to walk away because he can't watch other people get stuck with needles. Nothing horrible happened and I finally had my blessed epidural. The Nurses told us, "we'll be back in to check you and we'll probably have this baby around 11:30."

Finally I managed to get some sleep. At around 8:30ish I woke up feeling the contractions more and I had a moment of panic. What if the epidural wears off and I can feel everything?!!! I sat there for a few contractions (still not really believing that today was the day) and tried to decide what to do...

Finally I made Erik wake up (he was sleeping on the pull out bed) and go tell the nurses I was feeling pressure. They came in, checked me, then Dr. Samale came in and checked me and it was game on!

I had to call my mom and tell her to hurry up because if she didn't she would miss all the action. She got there right as they were coaching me on how to push. It's pretty easy once they show you where to tense your muscles. I was able to laugh at some of the nurse's jokes during delivery, that's how good the epidural was.

Once Mom got there it was pretty much push, push, push. The epidural didn't wear off but I could feel when I needed to push. I'm going to have Erik write up his experiences and I'll post it here because I was pretty focused at this point and I'm sure I missed a lot.

At 10:00 Rhea entered this world. It was amazing. I couldn't get over how big she was and that she was actually there. I had spent all this time waiting for her to show up and finally she was here!

So far everything is going relatively smoothly. I haven't gotten much sleep because Rhea is a voracious eater so I'm sorry if this post is scattered and riddled with grammatical errors. Hopefully once things settle down I will be able to go back and organize my thoughts so that I can write about how incredibly moving this whole experience was and continues to be for me.

You really can not be prepared for how awesome the whole process is.

13 hours and then some more time

They expect me to raise a responsible human being?

Facebook is not working right on my work computer so I’m restricted to actually working and attempting to Facebook on my IPhone. I can’t even think about Google’s blog site or the computer Nazis will lock me up. This is not working and I’m becoming irrational.

Maybe I can sneak out of the office, oh six hours early and go home to Facebook. That would be cool right? Neither Boss1 nor Boss2 is in work today so I think I can do it…

See? The above statement is exactly how pregnancy has changed me. I’ve never been one of those people who are too busy doing IMPORTANT WORK THINGS to admit that sometimes I DO HAVE FREE TIME at the office but, I would never admit those things on the internet. Now, with my due date exactly 13 hours away and approaching like an out of control Mack truck, I just can’t shut off the faucet that is leaking all those things I shouldn’t say.

I’m having a hard time with work. I may suddenly have to rush off and not return for 6 weeks. How the hell do I start new work projects with that hanging over my head? It makes me cranky and distracted.

Plus I’m hungry and my dog has scratched the back of her head off. I’m not kidding. There is a 1 inch by 3 inch long strip of oozing flesh on the back of Maggie’s head right now. At random points in the day I torture myself thinking about how much worse it will be once I get home. The vet doesn’t open until 2 so I can’t even set up an appointment. Last night I attempted to stem the damage and tapped up her back paws. So as I type this she is probably eating the remains of the wrappings in between scratch breaks. (BTW it was hilarious watching her walk around with the booties on.)

There was something I really wanted to add to this post but I forgot what it was....

The Apex of Anti Social Behavior

I sit in line at the drive thru and then park my car and eat in it. Why do this? So I don't have to interact with people. Seriously, I cannot stand going in to a fast food restaurant.

Update: someone just had the same brilliant idea and now we are staring awkwardly at each other from our cars. Crap.

Piano Sonata No. 2 in B-flat minor, Movement 3

I have been fooling myself and everyone else. I am terrified of labor! Like, HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can I possibly push this thing out of my VAGINA? Oh man it will never be the same! I take it back I don't want to reproduce!

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OK I don't feel better but I do feel a bit more honest.

I'm scared of heights and what I feel is like being the next person in line to jump off the rappel tower. Not only do I have to do it but I have to wait to do it. Who wants to do that?! Not this girl, no way. I have to though. There is absolutely no medical reason for me to not give birth vaginally so I can't back out now.

Not to mention I would like sole possession of my body again. That would be nice.

We (Erik, me and the unborn) went to see Dr. Barbie yesterday. She passed her exam in Dallas (thank god I don't have an incompetent Dr.). I think she offered to induce me today but I said no (because I am terrified). I am 4 cm dilated and the baby's head is "right there". Whatever I've heard it all before. So she doesn't think she'll see me at my next appointment and then she ran off to do a c-section in Providence.

NOTE TO SELF: You aren't a huge fan of this Dr. so don't get any false loyalty.

This is the breakdown of who thinks what day will be the day:

Me: Never
Erik: Doesn't care
Mom: Tomorrow
Dad: 19th
Boss1: 21st (thanks a lot jerk)
Boss2: 14th
Coworker 12th

I haven't really asked anyone else.....

Today is chore day. I'm planning on cleaning the bathroom, bedroom, laundry and washing the floors. Sometime soon I also have to seal the grout in the bathroom. Otherwise it will be yucky.

The waiting is getting difficult. 4 days left until my due date.

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Soon my daughter will be born. A lot of people mention how before they have concerns about what will happen when their child is born. I admit that I am among those people but, it doesn't seem as big of a thing to me as I thought it would be. I don't know what I'm trying to say really. Its like late pregnancy has made me completely scatterbrained. (Example: I just spent 2 minutes trying to think of the word, scatterbrained.)

A better today

Today is much better than yesterday. I'm still frustrated by the impending arrival of my daughter (still sounds weird to say) but, I'm less desperate and more relaxed.

The deal is that life is unpredictable. I've learned this lesson time and time again but occasionally one can forget when so caught up in living life. This is one of those reminders that the universe tosses my way sometimes. I can appreciate the lesson and take it to heart.

I won't have much longer to feel her move inside me. Soon she will truly be an individual and I'll never get this time back. It makes me wonder about things.

I can find my own mother in a room of a hundred people wearing a blindfold with both hands tied behind my back. It's her scent. It's not a soap, lotion or perfume because she changes those pretty frequently. It the smell that is uniquely her. To this day nothing calms me faster than breathing in that smell. Will Rhea be the same way with me? Will she feel the same sense of relief I got as a child when my mom would come to check on me before going to bed?

I hope so. If there is anything one thing my mother gave me that I would want to pass on to my daughter it would be that sense of love so strong that it makes everything alright in the world.

There are more things I wonder about but I think I'll stop there for tonight.

Only slightly unhinged

I started off this morning crying, sobbing actually, because I am still pregnant. I have been having unproductive contractions since 36 weeks and I’m now 38 weeks and 5 days. I like to think if it just wasn’t for the stupid contractions that I wouldn’t be having such an issue but I don’t know for sure if that’s true.Poor Erik, I don’t think he was aware that having a baby meant living with an inconsolable mess, shambling from one room to the next, moaning like something from the Living Dead for weeks without end.

I’m making light of it now but, this morning was bad. Really, really bad. I literally was sitting on my couch at five this morning, rocking back and forth, in the dark. I can’t begin to explain the overwhelming and varied emotions that have taken over my body and mind. I can’t control it or prevent it. The best I can do is try to control it and keep myself calm. I struggle with transitioning from one thing to another so I’m sure you can imagine how difficult it is for me to keep my sanity when I’ve been in the beginning stages of labor for over TWO WEEKS.

I’m excited for the birth of my daughter and can’t wait to meet this tiny person who is a combination of me and Erik. I want to see if she is going to be born with spiky, black hair like me or soft, bleached blonde hair like Erik. I can’t wait to count her fingers and toes and marvel over her poopy diapers. All of this makes me all the more frustrated when another contraction hits and I’m sitting there going, “could this be it?”

So if you are listening Rhea, Momma loves you and can’t wait to see you in person.

Chew, chew, chew, chew

Thats all I can hear right now. My dog gnawing on his chew toy.

I'm 38.5 weeks pregnant this week. I am hoping against hope that I give birth either before December 11 or after December 11. Erik is going to a concert he has been talking about since I've know him and I really don't want him to miss it. I will be very upset.

Plus we spent over $400 on the tickets. That would totally piss me off to waste that much dinero.

So if you are listening little baby, before or after December 11. Those are your options.

I have a Doctor's appointment tomorrow but I won't be seeing Dr. Barbie because she's in Dallas.
Instead I'll be seeing Dr. Samale. I have no clue who she is or what she is like... I'm dragging Erik along with me because I can.

I'm going to go troll the Internet now. Maybe boredom will send me into labor...

9:00 am - Ok so I have GOALS for today. I really, really need to get my butt in gear because I want to get this stuff done!

Pep talk over and now I'm going to go shower. Wish me luck with my chores and I'll come back and update you later.

10:20 am - So far I have completed:

• Moving old tiles, moving baby stuff and sweeping the floor.
• Now I have to go check my decorations in the basement.

3:49 pm - Sitting on the couch. I even wrapped a gift for my mom for christmas and picked up 3 gift cards for three of the four siblings we share. I have been more active in the past 7 hours than the last 7 weeks and guess what? Nothing thats what. This kid ain't moving.

WTF!!!!!!

Ok so had some awesome contractions last night. So strong that I was like, "Holy Shit, I don't know what I'm going to do if these get any worse."

Guess what happened after that. Come on guess.

Yeah that's right, NOTHING!!!!!!
I'm back to stupid Braxton-Hicks.

I'm really pissed off about this. I know I'm not due until the 17th but I've been secretly hoping she'll come a little sooner. I guess that's not going to happen. I feel like turning off all the lights and rocking in a corner while sobbing uncontrollably.

I even stayed home from work today in the hopes that they would get worse but they didn't.

So One Reason Down

Heard from my Professor today. He says I can do my final as a take home so that gets that out of the way. Yay!



Went and saw Dr. Barbie today. She is going out of town next week. Some sort of Doctor evaluation boards. I didn't ask too many questions because, really who wants to know about their Doc being tested for competency... Makes me nervous thinking about the outcome.



She didn't check my cervix so I don't have any info on that part of my anatomy for you. (I know you were dying to hear about it. Sorry.) In other bodily news, my boobs seem to have grown again! I wish they would stop because I am going to be totally depressed when they go back to normal size. As in, will probably need therapy.



I made left over turkey soup today. That covers not having to make lunches for the rest of the week. YES!



Right now Rhea is stretching so hard that I feel like she is just going to pop out of my side. Ow.

Days until December

We have approximately 18 days until D Day.

I have my 38 week Dr.'s appointment tomorrow. Its at 10. You know, the appointment my Dr said she would be surprised to see me at? Because I would have already given birth? Yeah that one. Thanks Dr. Barbie, I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm so tired today. Not even the two servings of ice cream I ate are perking me up. I admit that I haven't been following any real meal plan but I have for the past 9 months eaten worse then I ever have. I've gained about 30 pounds and while not really bothered by it I still can't wait to go and work out. (My twig thin Doc hasn't made one little peep about my weight gain since the first trimester either. Which is why she is still alive.)

So with Rhea's delivery date approaching and myself contracting away I find myself torn. I really want her to quit screwing around in there and show up already but at the same time I have two things I want to accomplish before hand.

1. Take my Geography final so I won't have to take an incomplete for one freakin' test.

and (this is the good one)

2. Go to my office's dinner party on Wednesday.

My boss is taking us out to eat and hes been such a royal pain to me since he got back from deployment that I cannot wait to eat expensive food on his dime. Does that make me a shallow, petty person? Probably but that's who I am then. Rhea needs to learn that as soon as possible if we are ever to get along.

My eyes are literally closing as I write this and it's only 7 pm. I've never really been a night owl but this is getting crazy. So I'll catch you on the flip side. Peace.

Any time now kiddo, any time...

I guess it's been decided by the forces of the universe that Saturdays are Useless Contraction Days. I say this because this will be the second Saturday in a row where I had contractions all friggin' day. I didn't even bother going to the hospital this time and hey guess what? Yep, they are all gone now.

So if you are listening, sweet child of mine, anytime you want to leave is good with me. Just let me know and we can arrange new living quarters for you.

I was thinking this week about how strange this being pregnant experiment is. I have actually been the healthiest I've ever been for the past nine months. It must be all the vitamins. It's nice though to not be sick as the season's change. Hopefully it will stay that way.

I don't have much else to write about. I'm hording my last Ghirardelli Milk and Caramel Square but it will probably be devored right after I post this. Then I will be sad.

On a poop note, today was the first day I had the opposite poop problem of every pregnant woman. It was an interesting change of pace.

And

We saw Harry Potter.
The End.

Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. Seriously, screw the Pilgrims, this is a time for personal reflection for me. Right now things are good and I am very thankful for it.

The one very minor complaint I have is juggling family for the holidays. It really aggravates me having to jump around from house to house. I have four parents, Erik has four parents and all the extended family that comes with the territory. I am so sick of feeling like I need to please everyone.

So this year we only officially one family, my mom and stepdad. There 5 people at Thanksgiving dinner and it was delightful. Not full of family I can barely remember and have to pretend to be interested in. (I know I'm AWFUL but I actually cannot remember some of my relatives names...)

OK so I sound like a giant douche bag but I'm telling you how I feel.
Also we still "swung by" my grandmothers and Erik's dad's to say Happy Thanksgiving so it wasn't like I completely ignored them.

Today I am 37 weeks and excited to get this done! I keep bouncing back and forth between wanting her to be born RIGHT NOW and hoping she will hold out until December... I know it really doesn't matter what I want but still I wonder.

I keep having contractions so I'll get all excited and then they just fade away. It's really frustrating because you get all, "This could be it!!!!!!!!!" (yes that many exclamation points) and then nothing. I know that at some point they will be for real but until then it's like my entire existence revolves around my stupid aching back and tensing stomach.

Interesting...

I am totally buying stock in Zantac. I slept through the entire night last night (minus requisite pee breaks) without once waking up feeling like I have just made out with Lucifier. I even managed to sleep on just one pillow. You know, instead of the folded comforter and three pillows I have to use to prop myself up. It was a magical night.

In other news I'm testing out the Nikon D90 that was sent to our office from NGB. While we have D300s I actually prefer the D90 (mostly because it is smaller). So here are some photos:

I have no clue why the photos are stacked like that but anyways, it is Maggie, Fergus and Erik. Until Rhea's arrival these are the animals I share my home with. (Erik is the most house broken out of all of us.)

3 centimeters, 75% effaced...this could take forever

From what I understand, dilation and effacement are USELESS. That is until you hit the magical 4 cm and begin contracting (which I have stopped doing).

In better news I went out and purchased some generic Zantac 75 today and IT IS AWESOME!!!!
The real test will be tonight when the heartburn from hell returns for it's nightly visit. (I never had heartburn until well into the third trimester. That's when it hit me like a Mack truck.)

I went and saw Dr. Barbie today. (My biggest goal for my delivery is that I can get a picture of her to show you) She thinks that I may not make next week's appointment because I will be birthing a watermelon, I mean baby, before then. I'm not so hopeful. She did tell me that I barely look pregnant in my uniform which is, of course, an outright lie but it made me feel better.

I called my mom and let her know how my appointment went today. First, some background on my mother. She is a robot. No emotion what so ever. Don't get me wrong she loves her children VERY MUCH, she just has problems showing it sometimes. She is also a nurse (and a professor and working on her PhD but lets not go there). So when I called her and told her what Dr. Barbie had said and Her Majesty, the Queen of Calm, squealed like my 15 year old sister I was quite taken aback. It took me a good couple of minutes to actually process that she did it. As in I didn't realize it until after I got off the phone with her. I'm going to hold on to that little gem until a really large family gathering.

I have a paper due in approximately 24 hours. I'm in final edits so I should be safe but if Rhea is going to be born I know for a FACT that it will be at the most inopportune time ever, like when I'm supposed to be handing in said paper.

I'm going to take a bath now because I can.

OH MY GOD THE HEARTBURN!!!!!!!
Its like my stomach has been filled with molten lava. I'm not lying to you. I have honestly never had heartburn so bad.

Why demon spawn? All I want to do is allow you to exist. Why torture me so?!

Tums is a waste of my hard earned money. If I survive the night I'm hitting the CVS for Zantec (or whatever it's called). I cannot do this another night.

36 weeks, 3 days...

I wrote a pretty graphic post about poop during my geography class today. For the sake of my one follower I think I will keep that in the "things I don't post on the internet" file. let it suffice to say that poop is a big deal when your pregnant.

(Erik is listening to Edith Piaf right now, he is very cultured.)

So after class today I came home and I hung two blinds. They are the faux wood slate blind (in white) and I absolutely love them. I have them in my bedroom and living room. They look so clean and they don't cost half as much as real wood so score. Although half of the windows still have the old blinds on them because of a purchasing miscommunication but I will get more probably this week after work gets done. I have misplaced my tape measurer again but I can work around that.

I love my bedroom. We spent a lot of time (and money) on making it nice and because of that it doesn't look like it belongs in the same house. Eventually we will move on to fixing up the living room, horrendous kitchen, other (pink) bathroom and two bedrooms upstairs. We will also eventually need to install a new septic system and heater but hey I can wait for that.

I have a tendency to make decisions without making sure Erik is fully on board first but it seems to be working out OK. AND he did pick out the AWESOME wood floors for our bedroom so it's give and take I guess.

This post had almost nothing about Rhea in it. Which is because she is being a good little doobie right now and not kicking the crap out of her host. If she decides to arrive on her estimated due date she will be here in 25 days. Holy Shit is really all I can say to that.

I've been working on Rhea's baby book on and off since I got it a couple of weeks ago. I'm hoping I'll be around to tell her all the interesting stories but when she gets older she will have a collection to look back on. I hope she enjoys it.

More importantly I hope I do right by her.

False Labor

As I lie here contracting...
It's 3:33 am on a Saturday morning. I've been having period like cramps since about 2:15. I lost count at 12 but I know I'm way past that. Do I think this is IT? No not really mostly because then it would be exciting. How totally like me would my daughter be if she waited until the day after I hit 36 weeks to go into labor? (that's the cut off for when they would stop your labor)

Anywho I wanted to have some type of record of this in case it was, in fact, THE EVENT. So now I'm going to try and go back to sleep.

*UPDATE*

So I wound up going to the hospital and getting hooked up to the monitors. Good news is that Rhea is looking good and I was contracting. Bad news is they are useless contractions as they are not changing my cervix at all. I'm back at home.

So I'm frustrated because:

1. This is not comfortable at all.

2. They can't tell me if they will stop or labor will begin.

These facts are upsetting to me because all I can imagine is being in pain like this for the next 3 weeks. Its not that they are all that painful, its the 21-26 days of potential crampy-crappy feeling that is bothering me. Plus even though they aren't bothering her heart rate I can tell that Rhea isn't fond of being contracted on... She pushes back so hard when I get one its like my body is between a rock and a hard place.

I'm hoping that I'll wake up tomorrow and be able to go back to complaining about how much my pelvis hurts.

This blows.

I feel slightly guilty that I have spent the entire day in sweats... Technically I'm doing a SUTA and I should only have to worry what my commander thinks but I can sense people judging me. Well go screw! Putting in my uniform was more of a challenge then I could handle this morning. On the productive side, I managed to create 4 drill schedules on the god awful DTMS program. Without excessive swearing or smashing of sensitive equipment. Go me!!!

Kind of Earthy

Lately I feel bountiful. Usually I'm not very curvy (except my especially large ass) and lately I've kind of been digging the pregnant lady curves. I have boobs for the first time in my life. That's pretty awesome.

Plus mother Earth can be a total bitch and we still love her so it's cool.

If I sound a little out of it now it's because I am. Sleep is becoming quite the chore. Tonight I'm going to try sleeping sitting up and see if that helps because I can no longer lay on my side. The back pain in the night is horrid.

I've been having real, honest to goodness contractions. They never stick around and don't intensify so the Doc isn't worried but I'm souped! If I can make it until Friday without going into active labor then she won't stop labor if it decides to start after that point.

Speaking of my Doc reminds me that I have a confession. I kind of hate her. She is always matchy-matchy with nice outfits, perfect hair and flawless make up. I really dislike sitting there with my ACUs on that don't come close to looking the same color, pants unbuttoned because I refuse to get maternity ACUs and being confronted with her fashion sense. Grrr. Just wait until I'm covered in sweat, blood and all other bodily fluids trying to expel this watermelon and she has the absolute gall to show up all put together.

I have yet to finish my single paper that is due for my stupid class. It's due next week and I can't get into writing it. Dammit. Also, I missed class yesterday because the ass of my jeans ripped as I was leaving the parking lot to go into the classroom. I'm not going to get into my feelings on that because, well it was just a dark time.

Sunday is a work day

I had to cover a general officer promotion today. It was me and one other person in ACUs. I can't fit into my Class As right now. I look at myself naked in the mirror and I feel like I look like a ghostly version of a starving Ethiopian. My belly is all distended. You get used to looking one way and then it changes so fast. Hope everything goes back to it's relative location.

I have 4 weeks and 5 days until my due date. That's 33 days if you would like it further broken down. I can't wait until I'm on maternity leave. People keep talking about how busy I'll be but I'm not sure I buy it. I'm pretty freaking busy right now with school and work. When I go on leave I won't be working and I'll be on a break from school. The only thing I will have to worry about will be taking care of the baby.

Now when I go back to work and school. That will be a challenge for sure! Lets not borrow trouble though.

I had a second baby shower yesterday. It was really nice and fun. I'm still missing some of what I would term essentials but there isn't too much left to get. I started packing my hospital bag today too. I'm kind of a control freak and would be really pissed if this baby came and I didn't have my pajamas packed. I don't really like hospital johnnies.

I started putting entries in the baby book last night and today Erik added some entries of his own. I think it's something that Rhea will really appreciate when she grows up. That her father cared enough to make some notations on how he felt about us having her. My father never cared enough so I might be projecting just a little. Oh well. :)

Day two of a five day weekend

I have a five day weekend so I'll probably be posting more frequently for the next few days.

Today we hung the bathroom mirror and one blind in our new bathroom. Erik got so frustrated with the screw driver that we had to stop without hanging the other blind. It's getting there though. Slow but steady I guess.

Rhea has been quite busy today but not to the point where I can't do anything else. I have been doing a lot of laundry, vacuuming and organizing. I don't like having a messy house but unfortunately household chores don't rate very high on my favorite things to do list. All I can think is I have about a month before D Day and I want things done!

I have been wondering alot about what type of daughter I'm going to have. What type of person will she be? How will she interact with people? Will she value them for every little thing they bring into her life or will she see them as tools? How much of her will I have a hand in developing? How much will she be born with and carry with her through out her life?

My dog, Fergus, has been farting all day and it is so bad that it actually made gag.

I'm still frustrated by the restrictions that being pregnant but it's not as bad today. I honestly have never wanted to go for a run so much in my life.

Oh my god....

So I like to think I'm handling this pregnancy pretty well for someone who really never planned on reproducing. These last few weeks have made me thank any deity I can think of for such smooth sailing so far.

Things I'm whiny about lately:

1. I'm tired, I can't sleep

2. My little girl seems to think if she just pushes on my uterus enough that there will be more room (trust me there won't be any)

3. Heartburn is my constant companion

4. I can't roll over in bed without stabbing pain

5. I have to pee every 5 minutes (literally)

6. I CAN NOT TIE MY OWN SHOES!

All I can think is that some women will spend their entire pregnancies in bed OR with chronic pain OR vomiting the whole time OR some crappy combination of symptoms I can't even imagine.

Now I will be honest,because well I don't feel dishonesty will get me anywhere. I'm feeling a little resentful of this alien invader today. I'm not one of those women who feels an instant connection with their baby and I'm sick of people telling me I don't look excited when I talk about the baby. Believe me I will be, when she is here. Until then I'm going to wonder about all sorts of things that will prevent me from getting super excited about her.

My mom told me she didn't think I would make it to 40 weeks and would probably go around 38 weeks. This made me almost cry tears of gratitude but, was swiftly followed by crushing guilt. What type of woman would feel that way?

This woman.

Now let me wrap this up by saying this:

Today was a tough day. I probably won't feel this way tomorrow but I would be lying if I said I'll feel completely different tomorrow.

So I'm 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Its pretty much amazing and confusing. My body feels like it's weighed down by an extra 100 pounds (even though I only gained 30ish). Uck. Rhea is moving a lot today and while it's interesting, it's not exactly comfy feeling. I had a mini breakdown yesterday but today seems to be going better.

Annnddd I'm back. So much has been going on, especially the pending arrival of our B-A-B-Y. Yep that's right, yours truly is about to become a mother. This is totally exciting, terrifying and really overwhelming. (the little wench is kicking the crap out of me right now.) Erik is away but he will be home this weekend and then I won't have to rattle around my house, all lonely.